How Could This Happen to Me?
by cj.sharpiequeen
Summary: a Kurt/ Blaine fanfic   but Read CP Coulter's Dalton first or you'll be confused.  VERY SAD. Character Death.  Reviews Welcome.


The night was beautiful really, just warm enough in the day to trick you into not wearing a coat and then chilly enough at night to make you regret it. It was the beginning of February, and Valentines day was just on the horizon.

The drive between Kurt Hummel's Lima home and Dalton Academy, his boarding school, was normally one filled with anticipation, music, and of course family chatter. Normally Burt and Carol would drive Kurt back out on Sunday evenings, and since his breakup with Rachel, Finn had come the last few times. The Dalton warbler and his New Directions step-brother were getting increasingly close, especially since Kurt's affections were now devoted solely to a one Blaine No-Last-Name. So the happy little family would drop Kurt off, and then return home after wishing Kurt well for this week.

This particular drive, however, was different, and Kurt couldn't be happier. Blaine was driving David's Porsche, and going the speed limit feeling no need to speed. Kurt sat comfortably in the passenger seat, content to just study the driver, who's kissably pink lips moved to the words of the song, his beautiful voice harmonizing with whatever song seemed to come from Kurt's shuffling iPod. Blaine drove with one hand on the top of the wheel, his right hand, his left on the armrest, fingers tapping constantly. His strong shoulders were caught in a perfect balance between good posture and relaxation. His jeans (Kurt hadn't been able to help staring) clad thighs were slightly apart, his left one relaxed, right one, of course, operating the vehicle.

"Enjoying yourself?"

Kurt jumped when Blaine spoke, shivers running down his spine. It took every ounce of his self control not to kiss him, "I'm sorry." He said, his cheeks reddening.

"Don't be," Blaine said, face cracking into a smile that made Kurt's insides melt, "You don't ever have to apologize for something like staring," the dark haired warbler chuckled to himself, "I can't even tell you how often I'm guilty of it."

Kurt's heart caught in his throat, "Y-you stare at me?" He asked, biting his lower lip.

"Of course, silly." Blaine glanced over at the brunette, "As often as I can."

Kurt's eyes widened quickly, but not because of what Blaine had said. He pointed, unable to make the words come out.

Blaine looked back at the road in time to see a speeding car barreling towards him. He had no time to react. The impact was made and then Kurt's world went black.

Hours later, when Kurt finally opened his eyes, he quickly shut them again after the harsh white infiltrated his vision. When he opened his eyes again he focused blearily on the small cherubic boy sitting to his left.

Reed Van Kamp had not left his roommates bedside since he had arrived at the hospital. Even now, however, his face had the telltale signs of endless crying. His face brightened slightly when he saw Kurt's blue eyes open. "Kurt!" He smiled, but then remembered and the tears fell again.

Kurt coughed and winced, "Blaine?"

Reed shook his head, "Don't ask yet, just please." He looked away.

Kurt turned his eyes to the door as Wes, David and the Twins entered, all with their own somber look upon their faces. Kurt knew instantly that something was wrong. There was a lack of energy coming from the normally rambunctious boys. Kurt took a deep breath, again wincing, not allowing his brain to spiral into the bad, "David, we wrecked your car!" He said quickly, "I'm so sorry."

David shook his head, "Don't worry about it, Alice." His own eyes welled with tears. Kurt didn't understand what was going on.

His eyebrows pulled together, "Well if its not your car, then what is everyone upset about?"

It was Wes that eventually spoke, lip quivering as he did, "Kurt, Blaine didn't make it."

"What?" It had to be some kind of joke, Kurt refused to believe that it was real.

"He's dead, Kurt." One of the twins said, eyes full of sadness.

"No." Kurt said, eyebrows pulling together, "No, that's not possible. No."

Reed looked back at Kurt, brown eyes red and tears falling freely, "He's really gone, Kurt."

Kurt's blue eyes had never looked as beautifully blue as they did when the tears finally started, "Blaine." He whimpered to himself, ignoring the pain as he curled into a ball, "How is this even possible?" His voice grew raspy and his breathing heavy as the news sank in. His sobs grew audible and the pain that radiated from the boy was felt by all of the others in the room.

Just as his life was beginning to be good, Blaine had been ripped out of it. Unable to bear the pain, Kurt slipped into sleep, Blaine's rendition of 'Not Alone' greeting him in his dreams.

But he was really alone.

Three days later, Kurt had been discharged from the hospital, and back a Dalton for a day and a half, despite Burt's earnest wishes for him to return home. Considering the fact that the accident had been fatal to the driver, his only injuries were a broken rib and a bruised pelvis, along with a concussion and a wrist fracture. He stared at his face in the mirror in his Windsor room, examining each of his butterflied cuts. His wrist was braced and his hip and chest were both incredibly tender. The other Windsor boys were at Kurt's side at all times, refusing to allow the boy to be alone. He'd kept up a good front, having not publicly cried since the hospital. He had hoped that this would convince them to leave him alone just long enough for him to not have to explain what he was doing, but of course, Reed stood beside him, texting someone before looking up.

Kurt, of course, didn't know that Reed had confessed to hearing the boys heartbroken cries at night, when Blaine returned to him in his dreams.

Reed looked up, "Are you sure you want to go, Kurt? Everyone will understand if you can't."

Kurt shook his head, eyes still so full of pain it they were difficult for others to see them, "I have to go." He said, voice soft, "I love him."

"Are you still going to sing?"

Kurt nodded, "That's the plan. Do you think it will be okay?"

Reed was sure that Kurt was going to be singing fine, but he did not think that things were going to be okay, at all. He had seen Shane yesterday, and had of course the boy had been a wreck, he'd lost his brother after all. Reed could handle one grieving person at a time, but two he was unsure of, so no, he was not sure it would be okay. Nonetheless he nodded encouragingly. "What are you singing?"

Kurt's cheeks flushed, "Its a surprise." He wasn't smiling so to speak, but his song choice clearly pleasing to the boy. "Only one person knows."

"Who?" Reed asked, cocking his head.

Kurt sighed, "Well yesterday I was looking for what song to sing, and getting frustrated. Logan had come to see me, " He ignored Reed's narrowing eyes, "And suggested it, and he's playing for me, tomorrow."

Reed tried hard not to scowl, "He's coming to the funeral?"

Kurt nodded, "And before you ask, Shane invited him. He loved Blaine just like I did, Reed."

Reed nodded, not wanting to fight, "well I'm glad you have a good song. I can't wait to hear it."

Kurt gave him the half-smile he thought he had fooled the Windsors into believing was a full smile. Everyone noticed, however, that it never reached his eyes.

A knock interrupted Reed calling out Kurt on his lack of smile, and Kurt winced as he climbed to his feet, walking slowly to the door, "Hi Logan. Just a second." The smaller brunette gave Logan the same half smile. He walked over to his desk and picked up his phone before turning to follow him.

"Don't tell me what's going on or anything?" Reed said, an unusual outburst for the boy.

Kurt turned around, "We're going to rehearse."

Logan looked past Kurt, "Don't worry, I'll bring him back unharmed."

Reed and Logan shared a look, and there was understanding in the eyes of both when Kurt and Logan left.

Kurt wasn't entirely sure when he had become okay with Logan's presence. His first night back at Windsor, Logan had entered just to tell him how sorry he was, and there was common hurt in Logans eyes. There was something about losing someone you loved that both of them could share where no one else could. Sure, everyone else missed Blaine too, and Shane and the rest of the family were surely as deep in grief, if not deeper than, as Kurt(the loss of a family member being pain that Kurt was well familiar with), but Logan, Logan knew exactly what Kurt was feeling.

Logan now managed to guide Kurt gently without actually touching him, "He wasn't happy about me coming, was he?"

Kurt shook his head, "I didn't tell him."

Logan nodded, "He would have tried to talk you out of it."

Kurt shrugged and then winced, "I wouldn't have listened." His eyes scanned the room as they exited, "I can't believe I didn't see anyone else."

Logan didn't mention that he'd talked to them all on his way in. "So, how do you like that song?"

"It's perfect." Kurt said, eyes watering, he quickly wiped away the tears, glancing up at the taller blond, "But I still cry every time I sing it."

Logan gave Kurt a sympathetic look, "It will get easier."

"How are you doing this?" Kurt asked, as the two entered the empty practice room with the piano, "How can you not break down?"

"Well first, I'm taking my meds, so i'm beautifully numb. And second." Logan sighed and glanced up at the wall at the picture of him and Blaine and the rest of the Warblers before Kurt, "this isn't the first time I've lost Blaine."

At the invocation of his name, Kurt's facade that he managed to keep for all others fell, "I miss him, Logan."

Logan nodded, wanting so bad to pull the brunette into his arms but knowing that his touch, and Kurt's knowledge that his touch was not Blaine's, would not help, he refrained, "I know, believe me I know." He sat down at the piano, "Come on, Let's rehearse."

Reed had, of course, interrogated Kurt when he returned that night, even enlisting the help of Wes and David to talk to him. The three had been seated uncomfortably in Kurt and Reeds room as the boy entered. All noticed the redness of Kurt's eyes that only came from crying. There was no other explanation for it. David jumped to his feet, "Did Logan make you cry?"

Kurt's eyes widened, and then fell closed as he shook his head, "No, the song that I was singing did." He reopened his cerulean eyes and studied the boys, "Okay, what's going on?"

Reed tugged the hem of Davids coat so he would sit down, "Kurt, we're worried about you." Kurt rolled his eyes, "We are just wondering why you're okay around Logan all of a sudden."

"I never had a problem with Logan," Kurt said, "I was a little thrown off by the fact that he loved me, but I never had a problem with him, Why are you guys worrying about me, I'll be okay."

"Kurt, why didn't you ask one of us for help picking a song?" Wes asked, studying the boy.

"I didnt ask anyone for help!" Kurt exclaimed, "I was looking on my laptop in the library and Logan came looking for me, asked what I was doing and then directed me to the perfect song. I didn't ask anyone for help. Ask whatever twin you had tailing me that day."

"We just worry about you." David said, "Logan is, is dangerous."

"Don't worry," Kurt said, eyes flashing, "He's medicating himself just to deal with the pain."

Reeds eyes softened with understanding, and then confusion, "But why Logan? Why are you talking to Logan, and letting Logan see you cry?"

Kurt's face flushed, "Because he gets it. He understands what I'm going through because he loved Blaine too." His eyes welled but he blinked away the tears, "Now, if you wouldn't mind ending this intervention, I have some work to do, so I don't fall too behind." Kurt hadn't been attending classes, neither had the rest of Windsor and the Warblers.

Ten minutes later it was just Reed and Kurt in their room. Kurt had settled at his desk, and Reed hovered nearby, "Kurt?"

Kurt's pen stopped, "Yes Reed?"

"Are you mad at me?"

"No, Reed." Kurt's pen moved again.

"Do you need help?"

Kurt looked down at what subject he was working on, "No, this is-" He stopped, pen falling from his hands, tears dropping at the same time. He glanced up at Reed, "This is the subject that Blaine helps me with."

Reed pulled Kurt into a hug, and let a few of his own tears fall, "We'll get closure tomorrow."

Kurt nodded, "I know. I still can't believe he's gone."

Reed tightened his arms around the sobbing boy, "No one can."

Kurt knew as soon as he walked into the funeral that he should have stayed home. There were countless people in line already, and he stood with the rest of the Windsor boys, waiting to send his condolences to Blaine's parents and brother. As the rounded the corner, Kurt was assaulted with the image of Blaine, and his living, breathing younger counterpart, who's eyes widened when he saw Kurt. He leaned over to say something to his mother, who nodded, and then he walked towards the boys. His eyes were red, but the same shade of beautiful brown that Blaine's had been. He looked at Kurt, and didn't say anything, only hugging him.

"Thank you for coming," He said a moment later, "My mother told me you were going to sing."

Kurt nodded, "I hope that's okay."

Shane's eyes softened as he led Kurt around the crowd to the front of the line, "Mom, Dad, don't you agree that Kurt singing is the best way for him to show his memory of Blaine?"

Blaine and Shane's mom gave Kurt an affectionate pat on the shoulder, "Blaine would have loved it."

Kurt nodded, "Thank you."

"Shane, maybe you and the rest of the boys should go into the back room."

Shane nodded, and swept the Windsor boys into an adjacent room. Within there was a selection of cheap cookies, a coffee maker, and some couches with a coffee table. Just before entering, Kurt caught a glimpse of blond hair and touched Shane's shoulder, "Logan should come too."

Shane nodded and left to get him.

Reed, who had been silently by Kurt's side the entire time looked up at him, "You're doing well." His own eyes were red with unshed tears.

"I'm a really good faker."

Shane returned then with Logan, and the group sat somberly. Sadly, the discussed Blaine, pestered Logan and Kurt for the identity of Kurt's song, and ate the cookies that were no comparison to Kurt's.

An hour and a half later, Blaine's father told them that It was time for the actual funeral, and they walked into the large auditorium style room. On the raised step that acted as a stage, there was a microphone, and in the back, Kurt spied a piano. His heart caught in his throat. Just before the microphone sat the lonely black casket wherin lay his lost love. He started shaking, tears slipping silently, hand raising to his mouth.

While the rest of the Windsor boys walked somberly to their seats, Logan noticed the silent breaking of the brunette, and put a supportive arm around his shoulders, leading him to his seat, arm never falling, even once they were seated.

It was another half hour of tear-inducing testimony before Shane stood and walked to the microphone. He looked beautiful, really, in his black suit and black tie. His hand had separated from Reeds for the first time as he stood before the crowd.

"For fear of sounding cliché i'll keep this short." He wiped a tear away, "Blaine was the best big brother possible. When everything in my life was going right, he took the heat so it would stay that way. I love my brother, and miss him dearly. I am not alone, however in my grief for my brother. Many of you may not recognize the name, but my friend, and a person very special to my brother, Kurt Hummel is here today. He and Blaine were amazing together, and when they sang, it was heartwrenching. I have never seen my brother happier than he was when he was with Kurt." Shane motioned for Kurt, and thereby Logan, to come to the stage, "And because of this, he has chosen to remember my brother, and celebrate his grief, in song."

Kurt looked at Shane as he climbed onto the stage, "Thank you."

Shane nodded, "I didn't say anything that wasn't true."

Logan took his place at the piano, and played a few bars to check the piano before nodding at Kurt.

_I open my eyes  
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light  
I can't remember how  
I can't remember why  
I'm lying here tonight_

_And I can't stand the pain  
And I can't make it go away  
No I can't stand the pain_

_How could this happen to me  
I made my mistakes  
I've got no where to run  
The night goes on  
As I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me_

By the time Kurt got to this point in his song, he and the rest of the audience were all sobbing. He met Shanes eyes and saw approval. The rest of the Windsor boys were all crying, but had amazed smiles on their faces.

Reed leant over at Shane, "Who sings this normally?"

Shane chuckled, "It's such a Logan song, its Simple Plan."

_Everybody's screaming  
I try to make a sound but no one hears me  
I'm slipping off the edge  
I'm hanging by a thread  
I wanna start this over again_

_So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered  
And I can't explain what happened  
And I can't erase the things that I've done  
No I can't_

_How could this happen to me  
I made my mistakes  
I've got no where to run  
The night goes on  
As I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me_

Kurt had long since lost control of his emotions and he walked back to Logan, and touched his shoulder, signaling for the music to stop.

_I made my mistakes  
I've got no where to run  
The night goes on  
As I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me_

When Kurt ended his song, the entire room was standing, and he crumpled into Logans arms, unable to contain his grief.

Logan pressed a kiss to the top of Kurt's head, "It's over. The hardest part is over."

When Kurt looked up, he nodded, "Thank you."

Logan smiled down at him, "Anytime."


End file.
